The final countdown was ON. Nursery ready. Doula on speed dial. Parents on standby. But when it came down to it, birth is 80% mental and 20% physical and as a Black woman, that 80% mental game included the weight of knowing our pain is often dismissed in the delivery room. I knew I had to be my own loudest advocate.
The “All Hell Broke Loose” Moment
I was sound asleep when my body decided it was time. By the time I hit the hospital, I was already 7.5 centimeters dilated. I was determined to have a natural birth (and I did, damn it!), but transition is no joke.
What they don’t tell you about labor is the “booty hole” pain. MY GOD!! It felt like the baby was staging a full-on escape while the nurses were telling me not to push yet. In that moment, I begged for the epidural. I hit my breaking point. But my doula, Chelsea, coached me through the “mental wall.”
The Sovereign Birth
I gave birth to my baby boy in just 4 pushes, lying on my side the position I chose, not the one the doctors preferred. After 1.5 months of early labor and 4.5 hours of active transition, he was here.
But here is the CEO Truth they don’t tell you: That intense, natural “high” of birth can sometimes lead to a massive crash. The physical trauma of a 4-push delivery is exactly what triggered my nervous system to move into Postpartum Detachment (Dorsal Vagal Shutdown) later on. You can be a warrior in the delivery room and still need a lifeline three weeks later.
My Natural Birth Toolkit
If you are prepping for your own “Natural Birth” or “Sovereign Birth,” these were my non-negotiables:
The Mental Game: Deep breathing and “Low Tones” (vocalizing low, not high screams).
The Support: Having a Doula who knows your birth plan better than you do.
The Recovery: Preparing your “Nook” before you even head to the hospital.
Your Post-Birth Support
Whether your birth was 4 pushes or a C-section, the emotional aftermath is real. I created the Postpartum SOS Box for the moments when the “warrior” feels weary.
Grab your Free Postpartum SOS Box
And if you want to heal the way I did, my 4-Week Postpartum Journey is the roadmap I used to find my joy again after the “unfiltered” reality of birth set in.
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