Breastfeeding Postpartum Struggles: Pain & Boundaries (Part III)

If you haven’t read Part 2 of my postpartum series where I opened up about baby blues and those early emotional shifts, you can catch up here. This time, we’re diving into breastfeeding postpartum struggles—not the glowing bonding kind, but the messy, painful, exhausting version that too many moms face in silence. Did you find breastfeeding to be the beautiful bonding experience everyone talks about, or did you face unexpected challenges?

Why I Chose to Breastfeed Postpartum (Navigating My Own History and Expectations)

Let’s be clear—I didn’t grow up around breastfeeding. I’m the only woman in my family who’s breastfed. The women before me either had latch issues or their milk didn’t come in at all. So naturally, those stories were sitting heavy in the back of my mind. But I was determined to make this work—not just because breastmilk is good for the baby, but also because let’s be honest—formula is expensive as hell, and I wasn’t about to add that stress to the already overwhelming pile of new mom stuff.

I remember people in my family would say, “Just know your milk might not come in,” and I’d have to smile it off like it didn’t bother me. But it did. Like, why speak that negativity over me? You don’t know what I’m capable of. You don’t know what my body can do. And I was right—my milk came in. I just had no idea how complicated everything else would be.

Strong Latch, Strong Emotions: The Unexpected Pain of Breastfeeding

I didn’t have this glowing moment of “oh my God, breastfeeding is such a beautiful bonding experience.” Nah. I just wanted to breastfeed, point blank. That’s it. I do remember that very first latch in the hospital—I laid there half out of it while the lactation consultant explained everything in detail. I wasn’t even fully present. You can read My Birth Story Here.

Once we got home, the reality of breastfeeding postpartum struggles set in. My son had a very strong latch—which sounds like a blessing until you realize it means pain with every single feeding until you figure out how to adjust. This was just one of the unexpected breastfeeding postpartum struggles I faced. At first, he took a bottle too so Daddy could bond—but that didn’t last long. Because of his strong latch and suck, he would choke on every bottle no matter the nipple or position. Eventually, we stop giving him bottles altogether, adding another layer to the breastfeeding postpartum struggles. Did you experience unexpected pain or latch issues with breastfeeding? How did you navigate it?

Which meant feeding became 100% my job.

Exclusively Breastfeeding: The Reality of “No Breaks, No Bottles”

I was exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally—just tapped out from the breastfeeding postpartum struggles. My baby needed to eat, but I could barely produce anything at first. This feeling of inadequate supply was a significant breastfeeding postpartum struggle for me. Sitting with the pump, I’d often hope to see ounces, but sometimes not even one appeared. This lack of output sent me spiraling, leading to endless Googling of lactation teas, pumping schedules, and anything that might help with these breastfeeding postpartum struggles. Power pumping was another avenue explored, but after a few days, it literally drained me. The demands of both pumping and nursing proved unsustainable. Ultimately, a choice had to be made, and I opted to just keep feeding him myself. It’s easy to panic at this stage, but it’s important to remember that your milk will come in, and your body will adjust its supply to meet your baby’s needs. The more your baby nurses, the more milk you will produce. Did you struggle with milk supply or the demands of exclusive breastfeeding? What resources did you find helpful?

Unsolicited Advice & The Importance of Boundaries in Breastfeeding Postpartum

Now cue the outside noise.

Once we told family he wasn’t taking bottles anymore, the advice came rolling in:

“You have to keep trying different bottles.”
“I’m going to bring over the one that worked for my baby.”
“He just needs to learn—don’t give up.”
“He will take the bottle if he gets really hungry.”
“Mom, you might have to go away, and Dad try to give it to him. Eventually, he will take it.”

Look—I know people meant well, but it infuriated me. I told my man, “The next person that gives me unsolicited advice about bottles is getting it.” And he knew I was serious. So anytime someone brought it up, he would step in and shut it down, respectfully but firmly. “Here’s what we’re doing,” he’d say. And that was that. How did you establish boundaries?

It honestly didn’t feel like support—it felt like pressure. It felt selfish. Like people weren’t trying to help for our benefit, but so they could have their moment with him. I know everyone wanted to bond with our son, and I understand the whole “give mom a break” thing. But at the time I wasn’t going anywhere. And neither was he.

My Breastfeeding Postpartum Truth: No Glow, Just Strength

Breastfeeding postpartum wasn’t hard because my body failed me—it was hard because everything else around it was loud, demanding, exhausting, and full of expectations. I was showing up every day for my son, through pain and pressure, and even though I wasn’t glowing or floating on some breastfeeding high, I was doing it. And that matters. That counts. That’s strength in the face of breastfeeding postpartum struggles.

Key Takeaways: Navigating the Realities of Breastfeeding Postpartum

Ultimately, navigating these breastfeeding postpartum struggles taught me:

Breastfeeding isn’t always the idyllic experience portrayed. It can come with pain, latch issues, and exhaustion.
Trust your instincts and don’t be afraid to deviate from expectations. What works for one baby and mother might not work for another.
Setting boundaries with well-meaning but unhelpful advice-givers is crucial for your mental well-being.
Exclusive breastfeeding can be incredibly demanding, both physically and emotionally. Seek support if you need it.
Showing up and doing your best, even when it’s hard, is a testament to your strength as a mother.

Closing Thoughts.

Breastfeeding didn’t come with magic for me—it came with sacrifice, exhaustion, boundaries, and a whole lot of trial and error. But it also came with strength I didn’t know I had.

If you’re in the thick of it, please know this: it’s okay if you’re not floating on cloud nine. It’s okay if it’s just about showing up and getting through it. That’s enough.

Thanks for riding through Part 3 with me. In the next post, I’ll be talking about postpartum rage—what triggered it, how it showed up, and what I’ve been learning about myself through it all.

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You’ve got this, mama.